A new season of The Great British Bake Off was released recently and the most recent episode was Bread Week. True to form, Paul Hollywood complained that nobody let their dough proof enough. It got me thinking about the bread metaphor I have often used in my therapy sessions with clients. A client comes in on high alert, overwhelmed and anxious, and gives the list of things that are on their to-do list. All valid things. All things that are important. And also all things that make everything feel like TOO MUCH. It's a recipe for burnout. So the baker in me will ask “have you ever made bread?”
Once the client gets over the initial shock of why I’m asking about bread when they are feeling overwhelmed and overworked most will answer. If they answer no, I explain the bread baking process, if they answer in the affirmative, I will review the steps.
The Bread Baking Process
To make a basic loaf of bread you need to activate the yeast with water or milk that isn’t too hot or too cold. It needs to be just the right temperature to get the yeast bubbling and happy. If you make the liquid too hot you can kill the yeast before it has a chance to do its thing, if you make the liquid too cold you never wake up the yeast and it doesn’t know it needs to work.
Then you add in your flour and salt and any other dry ingredients that you want to use to improve the flavor of your bread. You let that mix together until it forms a soft dough and then you knead it. You knead the bread until it is smooth and round and passes the window pane test. When I was a kid my mom taught me to knead it until it was as smooth as a baby’s bottom. Then you let the dough REST so it can grow or proof. If you don’t let it rest enough the bread will become dense and heavy and all the care you put into making sure the yeast had the perfect temperature to grow will be for nothing because it won’t have the time to grow.
Why Dough (and People) Need to Rest
But that isn’t the only time you need to let your bread rest. Over time I have learned that if my bread isn’t forming that smoothness I’m looking for I might need to walk away for a bit and let it rest. Sometimes the dough just isn’t ready to be kneaded to the right consistency and it needs a moment before you can come back and finish the work.
What Rest Really Looks Like When You’re Burned Out
Getting back to therapy. So when a client is telling me how burned out and exhausted they are, how they don’t have a moment to breathe, and how every task feels like a slog through the mud, we talk about how to make a perfect loaf of bread that needs time to rest. And maybe we need to be as gentle with ourselves as we are with bread. Rest is more than just sitting down on your phone and doom scrolling. It is more than just getting your nails done or getting a massage (though that does help!).
Rest is genuinely taking a break.
Rest is allowing your to-do list to be put aside or better yet, taking some things off your to-do list.
Rest is asking for help.
Rest is taking your mental health walks but being really mindful while doing it.
Rest is finding something that makes you laugh and making that a part of your life weekly.
Rest is going to therapy and really putting in the work to get out of your repetitive patterns and unhealthy coping strategies.
How Brainspotting Can Help You Feel More Rested
At Foothills Psychotherapy we have put together a list of self-care places in Burbank, CA and surrounding areas that might help with that idea of rest. But how can our therapists help? Well all of our therapists are trained in Brainspotting, and while Brainspotting can help with trauma, it can also help with feeling more rested and relaxed. Maybe you have a therapy appointment but you are dreading the hard work that often comes with Brainspotting. Well a Brainspotting therapist at Foothills Psychotherapy can actually help you find a place that feels grounded, neutral, or calm. After that eye position is found maybe you will just want to stay in that grounded, neutral, or calm place or maybe you want to process some trauma or anxiety or just the thing that pissed you off earlier in the day, but you will get a chance to do that from a calm place that feels more protected. Our therapists aren’t going to force you to do work that feels too scary or overwhelming, we are with you on your journey however long that takes. Because we understand that the yeast needs the right temperature and that the bread needs to rest before it’s done being kneaded.
Ready to Give Yourself Some Rest?
If you’re feeling burned out, overwhelmed, or just plain tired, we’d love to help. Our therapists see clients in person in Burbank and online anywhere in California. Contact Carey, our therapist match-maker, to schedule a consultation.
