Understanding Pet Loss Grief & How Therapy Can Be Supportive
Twenty years ago I lost my dog, Blackjack. He was my constant companion for 15 years - through college, relationships, breakups, and multiple moves. When he died, I was shocked, devastated, and unprepared for how deeply his loss would affect me.
After what felt like the "normal" allotted time to grieve a pet had passed, I was left alone in my sorrow. I reached out for professional support and was fortunate to find a therapist who specialized in pet loss.
Each week, I shared feelings of loneliness, sadness, guilt, and confusion. My therapist provided a compassionate, understanding space for me to honor the special connection I had with Blackjack to move through my grief.
This is the space I hope to offer others experiencing the loss of a beloved animal because losing a pet can be a profound loss.
Our pets aren't just part of our lives; they're part of our everyday routines, our homes, and our emotional worlds. When they're gone, we're not just missing a pet. We're adjusting to life without an important, meaningful relationship.
What Can Pet Loss Grief Look Like?
Grief doesn't always look like sadness. You might feel lonely, angry, anxious, distracted, exhausted, or like something is missing from your day. And sometimes pet loss brings up feelings that can be especially hard to talk about:
Guilt:
Did I make the right decision? Did I wait too long? Did I miss something?
Blame:
Could I have prevented this? Should someone have done something differently?
A lack of closure:
Especially when your pet died suddenly or went missing.
Trauma:
If you witnessed an accident, sudden illness, or a difficult death, you may find yourself replaying what happened or having memories that are difficult to shake.
Conflicting emotions:
You can feel relief that your pet is no longer suffering and still feel completely heartbroken. Both can be true.
Is there a Hierarchy of Grief?
Pet loss can also be difficult because not everyone understands it. You may hear, "Just get another dog," or "Are you still sad about your cat?" The harshest voice might even be your own. You may think, "It was just a dog. What’s wrong with you?"
But there is no hierarchy of grief. The significance of a loss isn't determined by whether you lost a person or a pet.
It is shaped by the relationship you had and what that relationship meant to you.
Is There a Timeline for Grieving a Pet?
There is no "normal" timeline for grieving a pet. Some days may feel okay, while other days can bring the grief rushing back unexpectedly. Healing doesn't mean forgetting your pet or never missing them again. Over time, the pain may become less overwhelming, while the love and memories remain.
Find a Therapist in California for Grief and Loss of a Pet
I know how deeply this kind of loss can hurt, and I also know how important it can be to have a space where you don't have to explain why you're still grieving or convince someone that your loss matters.
If you've lost a beloved pet and are struggling with life without them, therapy can provide a place to talk about it openly and at your own pace. Here, you don't have to minimize your loss because it was "just a pet."
Get Matched With a Therapist at Foothills Psychotherapy
At Foothills Psychotherapy, we work with individuals navigating grief and all sorts of other emotions. If you're curious about whether therapy might be a good fit for you or who may be the best therapist for your needs, reach out to us.
